


The Gladstone Gauntlet

by Nan_Golden



Series: The Gladstone Chronicles [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-06
Updated: 2011-10-06
Packaged: 2017-10-24 09:12:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nan_Golden/pseuds/Nan_Golden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock learns that broadening young minds isn't a walk in the park.</p><p>A standalone story in the Gladstone Chronicles, following the adventures of Gladstone at Baker St.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gladstone Gauntlet

**The Gladstone Gauntlet**

“Doggie!” shrieked yet another child during Sherlock and Gladstone’s daily walk in the park. Sherlock sighed as his train of thought derailed. Honestly, how was he supposed to get anything done while saddled with this beast? John had remained stubbornly unmoved by Sherlock’s need for a quiet atmosphere conducive to his thought processes.

“You’re home all day,” John had pressed Gladstone’s leash into Sherlock’s hands. “I’m certain that you’ll be able to reschedule swanning about in your robe and abusing nicotine patches.”

“I’m deducing!” Sherlock snapped. “It’s understandable that you wouldn’t recognize strenuous mental activity.”

“At least a half an hour WALK Sherlock. I’ll know if you leave him tied next to a rubbish bin.”

Bloody Mycroft and his infernal CCTV. Didn’t he have a shadow government to run? 

“Who a good boy?” cooed a small ginger girl (youngest of three, favourite fruit: bananas) as she rubbed Gladstone’s ears so vigorously that his slobbery jowls flapped about.

“To whom are you speaking?” he asked the girl imperiously. She stared up with rounded eyes as if noticing Sherlock for the first time.

“I can assure you that this creature is not a human boy in disguise and as such has no concept of morality.” The girl’s mouth dropped open. “He is also fully sexually mature, so your assessment of him as a juvenile is faulty as well.” The girl’s parents edged closer.

“The most cursory examination of the dog’s rear quarters would reveal the absence of testicles, evidence that the dog has been neutered and is no longer capable of sexual reproduction and lacks many male characteristics, making the male gender assigned by you technically correct but not completely accurate.”

No wonder there were so many tiny minds about, if this was the way children were being raised. Sherlock nodded to the circle of inexplicably irritable looking parents and sitters creeping forward.

“What are you going on about? My daughter just wants to pat your dog,” a thick-set man demanded.

“Simply raising the collective intelligence of your offspring and brightening their dismal futures. You’re welcome,” Sherlock sniffed.

The children began to giggle.

“You said testicles!”

“He said a bad word!”

“Dad, what does ‘neutered’ mean?”

John was texting on his phone when a disheveled Sherlock returned much later than expected. The elbows and front of his coat were covered with streaks of mud and his mussed hair had several dead leaves caught in it.

“Nice walk?” he asked. Gladstone went and sprawled at John’s feet, settling in for a nap. A corner of John’s mouth twitched upwards as he stared intently at the phone’s screen. Sherlock’s eyes narrowed as he came to an unpleasant conclusion.

“When?” Sherlock gritted his teeth together. That nosy git!

“Mycroft sent me the CCTV footage ten minutes ago.”

“How many?”

“Molly, she’s been looking like she could use a laugh lately, Mike, Lestrade…I believe Anderson mentioned a youtube account…”

“This means war,” Sherlock said and he pulled out his phone and stabbed furiously at the keypad.

“Sherlock?”

“Hmm?” Perhaps he could tamper with Mycroft’s supply of fat free (ha!) dairy creamer…but first…

“Your mother already knows.”

Mrs. Hudson sighed as a thump and a crash shook her ceiling. Poor Sherlock, he had far too much stress in his life. A nice walk would do him a world of good.


End file.
